Stood in an Empty Room, Looking Awkward

It’s time for a fresh blog, again. I find myself writing about things that I think should be in an art blog, rather than things that are actually important and relevant to my art path. I need to declutter the creative part of my brain in order to make room for more innovative junk -it’s getting pretty crammed in there, so I’m gonna dump it all here.

For a change, there is no aim to this blog, other than to keep it honest and very “Zara”. No doubt this blog will act as some kind personal journal at some point, I tend to get too relaxed after a few entries and before I know it I’m spewing all kinds of drama. It’s occured to me that maybe I want to spew. After all, this blog is public which tells me that there is a chance of somebody reading it, somewhere. I’ll try to keep it art-focused (as that is the intention) but there’ll be no promises as such. As some kind of pre-warning, it’s probably worth mentioning that I’m not the most positive of people and pretty much live my life based on but-what-ifs and worst-case-scenarios. It’s the only way I can function without juggling too much anxiety at once. There are also no promises of weekly posts or regular updates because sometimes I just don’t feel like doing reports; I have no energy. I often undersleep as well, and during those times I’m pretty much the worst person I know -I’m very grumpy and very sad. Most days my eyes are in a constant state of tiredness and I don’t want to do anything -even make time for art. Anyway, nobody likes sleep deprivation -do they? Although I quite like it if it means I get cool dreams and feel a bit out of sync for a bit. I might get short bursts of creativity if my brain is being a bit weird, and that feels quite good. I’ve probably mentioned this on other blogs before… I do have a tendancy to repeat myself -another pre-warning.

I’m hoping this blog doesn’t end up like one of the many unfinished sketchbooks on my art shelf. The books usually begin really neat… drawings I’m more that happy with for the first few pages, followed by a few rubbish ones, then one that went really wrong, a few doodles and notes (because at this point I’ve given up on the sketchbook being a sketchbook -it’s now on the level of “jotter”) ending with blank pages that will never be filled. At this point, I’ll buy a new one. I must quit this dreadful habit of, not only paper wasting, but giving up on my work that may, in future, be useful for ideas and learning curves. My art teacher at school always said ‘you must never throw art away and/or forget about it. If it’s something you dislike you can always work on it at a later date and make it better’ Not sure whether it’s a good idea these days…I’m already an avid hoarder. The idea of recycling appeals to me though, maybe I could chop it all up and keep the best bits…Hmm. Right, I’m going off on a tangent. Besides, you can’t really chop up blogs up anyway. Not really. Okay…special efforts to make sure blog stays alive and continues moving forwards. Circles might be okay, but not a backward motion of any kind.

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3 comments

  1. Evening Zara. I came for a look at your blog when I managed to find it. I am impressed by the depth in your post and there are a lot of things in it I find relatable. I do hope to leave you a more substantual comment for it in good time when I feel more collected.

    Thank you again and Best Regards

    Jason

    Like

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