…And Now, It’s May!

Three days ago I visited an old park I used to play in as a child. I’ve been meaning to visit the house I grew up in, which is situated beside the park, for a few months now, and Saturday was the day I went for that walk. Wow. The nostalgia was overwhelming. A part of me initially didn’t want to see. I learned to ride my bike in that park and I recall that very day with my Dad and the very path we took. So many wonderful memories of my childhood. It wasn’t just the big things though, it was the insignificant things like the broken bit of path that was at the entrance of the park. I distinctly remember having to put extra pressure on my bike pedals when I was a child, just so I could make it over the raised concrete each time I entered the park. And later, when I’d learned to skate, I’d have to slow down on my roller blades to prevent a fall. That must’ve been well over twenty or so years ago. The path still isn’t fixed.


It appeared that the majority of the greenery had been chopped away, which is very sad, and lots of tall, pointy, metal fences are now dividing the park into sections. Most likely a security thing that has gone too far or maybe lack of funding for groundskeeping. I have no idea how all that works. It was nice to visit, regardless. I could still see how the park used to be, and very vividly remember the old, green, wooden see-saw and high slide. It was back when health and safety was all bollocks and the ground wasn’t rubber; it was just gravel and tiny bits of glass. Quite literally. Amazing.

I actually caught a chill during my day out, so I’ve been pretty much bed ridden for two days. I was even mildly delirious on Monday night. I’ve not had those feelings for ages. Tonight I feel a bit better, though I now have a barking cough. I’ve just had a curry and watched an episode of Luther. As I always say, I prefer to watch these series once the general public have stopped banging on about it, so my time to watch this programme is now. It’s not too bad really. I still haven’t got over the whole Dexter thing, so it’s hard for anything to level with it, but I’m still enjoying all these detective/thriller series I haven’t seen yet. They are good to watch when I’m doing my art or journals.

Actually, I had to ask my tutor for another extension on my art coursework. Again. I suspect by this point she probably thinks I have issues going on or I simply can’t be arsed with the course. Quite honestly, I am just so tired. Ugh. I will get through this course and I will gain my degree, but I should maybe start to introduce a quick nap into my schedule. Really. I’ve never been one for getting a bit of daytime shut-eye – like, what if I miss something, right? This sort of stuff contributes to the bags under my eyes. I mean, the cause is mostly down to genetics but I really do need a massive nap. This is maybe something else I’m writing about that I will never actually make happen, but right now, I mean it. Anyway, I will eventually share some actual art at some point this year. I have a lot going on. It’s all good, but it’s also time consuming.

About three months since my last post. Classic.


Morning Productivity

I’m happy that the first day of August started on a Monday. It gives a sense of stability and pattern to the month. It puts me at ease and acts as a kind of refresher. My plan was to wake up at 6:00am everyday this month and get something done before I set out to work. I awoke at 6:00am on Monday and then 7:20am on the two days following. Tuesday and wednesday’s sleep was nice and I had some wonderful, broken dreams, but sleeping doesn’t make art, at least not in the physical sense. Today I awoke at 6:00am, again. I’ve realised that the best way to actually stay disciplined to the alarm is to promptly get out of bed the minute you here the alert. Try to ignore the cold, or dreams, or the fact that your eyes still feel heavy and just get going. So now I’m sat here now, with my Earl Grey, feeling happy that I’m already making the most of the day. It’s already been decided that today is a blogging day, so there’s no pressure to create anything on paper just yet. Boards of Canada is filling the room and I can see the rain from my window. Looks like I’ll be wearing my mac today. 

Not long until the exhibition now. I’ve recently found out that a lot people are under the impression that this is an exhibition solely consisting of my work, but I am in fact submitting only the one drawing. I’ll post details of the dates and venue when I return from work, later today. In fact, speaking of work, in some ways my new job contributes to my artistic productivity. It enables me to have a balanced sleep pattern and there are regular times I can now set aside to get things done. Like the mornings, for example. This is my plan for the month…

6:00-6:15am Wake up, make a brew.
6:15-6:25am Check online art-related mail and social networking.
6:25-7:00am Blog/Draw/Project.
7:00-7:15am Breakfast
07:15-7:30am Wash/Dress/look… presentable(?)
7:30-8:00 More art…
8:00-8:15am – set off

Hats off to the people who spend longer than fifteen minutes getting dressed and looking fancy. The truth of the matter is that even if I spent an extra half-hour doing make-up or whatever, is that I’d probably look exactly the same anyway, as I really haven’t a clue about all that malarkey. Plus, I’d rather spend that extra thirty minutes painting and making art. If I can get through the whole of August and stick to my routine, then I’ll be okay. I’ll most likely be okay anyway, but I’ll feel better about stuff. Occasionally I wonder if my blogging is procrastination in disguise. After all, wouldn’t it be better to produce a picture? Journal writing, blogging and keeping records of daily routines is something I’ve always enjoyed, so I’m going to continue being guilt-free about the whole thing. 


March was a productive month for doodles. I got into the habit of carrying my sketchbook everywhere and it resulted in lots of page-filling. The extra day I gained after dropping my work hours has proven to have a positive outcome as well, so that was a good move. As much as I love taking the bus to work, it’s nice to have less travel time and more hours to do creative stuff.

The idea for the diary didn’t workout, though. Whenever I seemed to search for a day to look back on there was a missing entry. Turns out, that in almost every journal, March has always been the month with the least entries. It was really odd. The only conclusion I came to was that the month of March might be a bit of ‘come down’ month. January is most likely going to be filled with “hope” for the year, Februrary might still be quite exciting and you may have even added some new goals to the year, but by March a few things may have not gone to plan already and you might have started to give up on ideas or letting those New Years Resolutions slip. On the other hand, it could also mean that your life has been so exciting that you’ve simply not had the time to follow through a page-a-day of writing. Unfortunately, it’s probably more the former rather the latter.

These patterns below happened by accident. They originally began as biro-doodles, and whilst it’s how they appear to remain, it took a while to line the shaded areas and they are no longer just silly drawings to me. In fact, I actually like them very much. I was getting lazy with my sketch booklast year, so to see a completed page makes me feel quite prolific. That’s good. I think I like fig. 1 best. It reminds me of something sciencey; like little molecules of blood flowing through my veins or something like that. I might attempt more of these patterns in colour.

zara 1

Fig. 2


zara 3

Fig. 2


April is almost at an end and things seem to be panning out okay. I’ve got a few work-related plans that should change my life for the better if it all works out and I’ve got some good ideas for producing some work of exhibition standard. I need to think about getting an art CV together which is going to prove difficult seeing as I’ve not gained any academic qualifications in that field, nor have I ever had anything exhibited. I think if I put my mind to it then something positive will come out of all this nonsense.

Anyway, I’ve since created a new art page, which is bascially a mini side project for fun. It’s a space to share my limericks and loony characters… it’s a bit silly really. You can check that page out HERE.  I’m not even sure what makes a limerick great, and mine are quite childish to be honest, but I like creating the troupe, some of which are loosely based on people I know or have met at some point in my life.

Now I’m super-excited about May and I’ll be posting more artwork soon…



Stood in an Empty Room, Looking Awkward

It’s time for a fresh blog, again. I find myself writing about things that I think should be in an art blog, rather than things that are actually important and relevant to my art path. I need to declutter the creative part of my brain in order to make room for more innovative junk -it’s getting pretty crammed in there, so I’m gonna dump it all here.

For a change, there is no aim to this blog, other than to keep it honest and very “Zara”. No doubt this blog will act as some kind personal journal at some point, I tend to get too relaxed after a few entries and before I know it I’m spewing all kinds of drama. It’s occured to me that maybe I want to spew. After all, this blog is public which tells me that there is a chance of somebody reading it, somewhere. I’ll try to keep it art-focused (as that is the intention) but there’ll be no promises as such. As some kind of pre-warning, it’s probably worth mentioning that I’m not the most positive of people and pretty much live my life based on but-what-ifs and worst-case-scenarios. It’s the only way I can function without juggling too much anxiety at once. There are also no promises of weekly posts or regular updates because sometimes I just don’t feel like doing reports; I have no energy. I often undersleep as well, and during those times I’m pretty much the worst person I know -I’m very grumpy and very sad. Most days my eyes are in a constant state of tiredness and I don’t want to do anything -even make time for art. Anyway, nobody likes sleep deprivation -do they? Although I quite like it if it means I get cool dreams and feel a bit out of sync for a bit. I might get short bursts of creativity if my brain is being a bit weird, and that feels quite good. I’ve probably mentioned this on other blogs before… I do have a tendancy to repeat myself -another pre-warning.

I’m hoping this blog doesn’t end up like one of the many unfinished sketchbooks on my art shelf. The books usually begin really neat… drawings I’m more that happy with for the first few pages, followed by a few rubbish ones, then one that went really wrong, a few doodles and notes (because at this point I’ve given up on the sketchbook being a sketchbook -it’s now on the level of “jotter”) ending with blank pages that will never be filled. At this point, I’ll buy a new one. I must quit this dreadful habit of, not only paper wasting, but giving up on my work that may, in future, be useful for ideas and learning curves. My art teacher at school always said ‘you must never throw art away and/or forget about it. If it’s something you dislike you can always work on it at a later date and make it better’ Not sure whether it’s a good idea these days…I’m already an avid hoarder. The idea of recycling appeals to me though, maybe I could chop it all up and keep the best bits…Hmm. Right, I’m going off on a tangent. Besides, you can’t really chop up blogs up anyway. Not really. Okay…special efforts to make sure blog stays alive and continues moving forwards. Circles might be okay, but not a backward motion of any kind.

Why are you so bloody positive all the time?!

I suppose today’s writings are a lot about reflection. It’s sometimes difficult to keep up with regular posts (currently that of ‘Eleven Eclectic Days’), but whilst missed posts are mostly at the cause of laziness, in this case I’m happy to report that things have been far too wonderful to find time to conclude.

I’m not even sure what this blog’s about anymore. It had orginally began as my art blog, but has slowly developed into a blank internet space for my thoughts – a sporadic journal if you will. My handwritten diaries each have a name, and when it’s time to start a fresh one (which isn’t always January 1st, as I tend to complete dateless notebooks -some days are worth more than a single page, ya know?) I give the diary a name and continue to write my thoughts as if my diary were a person. Diaries are an amazing way to relieve stress and negatives thoughts. Of course, it’s always better to write the positives, especially if you plan on looking back once in a while. For me, it works.

I’m wondering… Who are you?
I’m wondering… What kind of person are you?
I’m wondering… Do you even like my blog?
I’m wondering… Do you have a blog, and would you share?
I am interested to know about you!
If you are reading this then at least we have one thing in common >Blog-reading< I like to read other peoples' blogs, too. Then again, maybe we're reading for different reasons. Most of the time, I like to read for inspiration, and other times I just like reading about how other people live and what they like doing during their lunch hour.

Somebody made me laugh recently when they remarked on how I’m always positive and happy, and asked how does nothing ever go wrong for me(?)
I mean, really? C’mon man. HA!
I’m not a fan of posting the negative. What does it really do besides promote other forms of negativity? That doesn’t mean to say you ignore problems, because they will arise at some point, but most people have their own shit to deal with and don’t really want to hear about yours anyway – unless they’re nosey and relish in your failures -Eeek! and then there’s the minority who are genuinely concerned (Yes, most people are dicks). I would say that if you’d like to be that positive person then just make it happen. Stop talking about rubbish stuff, stop wondering if you’re winning the rat race and stop this “comparing nonsense” that seems to be the focalpoint of social networking. Instead, start talking about cool stuff you did and start trying to make postive changes within your life and pick up the book you’ve been meaning to read for ten years…


January Holiday – Day 2 of 11

The following post is a pretty much a short, journal entry of my life yesterday. Here goes…

Yesterday, I woke up at 5:45am. The first thing I did was check my online mail… and what a treat that was. I recieved such a nice email from a far way friend that it really gave me an energy boost for the day. I think I pretty much still have the buzz. You know when you recieve letters that are free from bullshit and they’re just a genuine, friendly, positive message? Well, it was one of those kind of emails. A smile. When I had finally got over my stupid grinning, I got up and had a bowl of Weetabix and some toast before having a long, deep bath. After that, Steve and I lay in bed and listened to the Avalon album. We later realised we had discussed every song in detail as it played. That was pretty funny.

Early afternoon, I enjoyed a cup of coffee and cream, and awaited the arrival of my Dad and the kids. When he arrived, I made him his usual cup of Earl Grey and he proceeded to update us on his latest jokes. They’re usually dad-style funny, which means you only laugh because you love him so much -Oh Crikey!

…More coffee was brewed later when my Mum joined us. Lovely.

All in all, I enjoyed today, but I was a little naughty in skipping Spanish studies. Alas, it was Sunday and I wanted to rest. Today is Monday and more great, educational things lie ahead. Yes!

I wish you all a great day and I shall talk later. Au revoir.

PS // Other things that happened during the day…

  • I arranged to meet my sister on Tuesday, which means that’s one goal I can cross off my list.
  • Whilst Steve went shopping, I stayed at Grandma’s house and we chatted over bowls of hot, homemade, chicken noodle soup.
  • In the evening, Steve made more homemade, vegetable soup and we watched PCBH.


This is today, so far…

Today, I woke up late. By late I mean like 10:30am. It’s my last day off today, and I hoped to get up at 9:00am and start my French study by half past. It’s not even like I was having great dreams (I can’t even remember, therefore I assume they weren’t great). Anyway, I’m waiting for my bath to run. I got a bit of French done today and I’ve drank some good coffee. OK. Time to check my bath.

So I had my bath and I’ve just made another coffee with cream. I should be going over my French a bit more, but I need a small break.

Just spent a million years sorting out my old blog, then I just deleted it because it was stupid. More stupid than this one. I think most successful blogs have a specific subject or point. Although, if you write really well and are able to keep the attention of readers going, then I guess you can just talk a bout yourself and what’s going on in your life.

One of my cats just noticed I’m sat at my desk (he’s just woke up after a long nap), and he decided to come and sit on my lap. This certain cat, Mr. Kidd, loves me dearly. There isn’t a day goes by where he isn’t sociable. He follows me everywhere. I said to Steve…
“Mr. Kidd really loves me. He’d be so sad if I died”
…Steve said Mr. Kidd would probably come and sit on my grave. I asked Steve if he’d come and put cat biscuits on my grave. We laughed at that.

My ass is numb. I need to get up and/or get out of this maison!