I transfered my blog from Blogspot to WordPress and now I’ve lost my stats. It’s not really important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s always nice to be reminded that somebody might be interested in your art and/or writing. And if that somebody is replaced with ‘lots of people’ then it’s even better. So now my figures are only in the hundreds instead of the thousands, but I think I’ll eventually get over it.
As the month of Februrary comes to an end, I am slowly evaluating the past 3 weeks and have come to the conclusion that it’s been time well spent. Not just in terms of creativity, but on a social and emotional level, too. March is the first month I shall officially be working four days a week, instead of five. That means I technically work part-time now, so that’s good. Not much thought has gone into how I will survive financially, but the extra day off will keep me happy and constructive. I’ve already began taking my sketchbook everywhere I go and when there’s nothing to do, there’s always something to draw.
At the start of 2016, I decided to take a different approach to my usual way of thinking in an attempt to get more things done and remain worry-free. I’m justifying anything that I might usually consider to be a risk, as being totally okay. These kind of things shall now be learning curves and experiences. I’m planning to hit this huge reset button, which is like some kind of big, red, chunky, shiny cylinder that I’ll punch when I turn thirty, so there’s not much to fret about until then because time starts again in Zara’s world. I’m finding it easier to accept my decisons about most things and, as a result, my mind has been a lot more open and I’ve felt very happy about all the aspects of my life. Maybe when I’m thirty, I’ll create a new reset button for when I’m thirty-one, and then another for when I’m thirty-two…and so on.
I’m actually not overly well today. Flu-type symptoms or something. I didn’t sleep much last night either, and as a result I had incredibly bizzare dreams. They were senseless and repetitive. The kind that can be quite disorientating, but at the same time oddly pleasurable and fascinating. One of the dreams included the loss of my teeth. In the dream I had collided with somebody and cracked my left front tooth. I peered into a mirror and noticed a huge chip and within a few minutes the right tooth had fallen out and my other teeth started to quickly decay. I woke up in mid-panic and frantically began to feel my gnashers. When I was teenager, I’d often dream about losing my teeth. I’d either lose them, they’d rot, they’d bleed or turn to mush. I’m not sure why my recent toothy dreams have returned. Odontophilia probably plays its part and maybe the partial guilt I hoard for not wearing the mouth guard that my dentist strongly suggests I wear on a nightly basis.
Anyway, I have this idea of how to structure this new blog. I firstly need to choose a past year -I’ll probably go for 2003, as it was the year I turned seventeen and most likely about the time I was naive enough to think I knew where I was definitely going to be ten years from then – Anyway, the plan is to dig out my 2003 diary and see what I was thinking about thirteen years ago from today, tomorrow, the day after, etc. I’ll then do some kind of comparison thing, but through art or something. It’s not quite all come together yet, so I’ll have to see. It’s possible to forget how much you have actually achieved. Whilst sometimes you might feel a bit static, you might in fact be at your most productive point. It is similar to that of when you look back and reminisce of good times that may very well have seemed quite dull at the time of happening. I don’t want feel static anymore. I want to feel productive. I’d like to move forward and do cool stuff. I want to work for something I love and I want .
There is a common expression… ‘It is sooner than you think’
I must not remain static.