tired

…And Now, It’s May!

Three days ago I visited an old park I used to play in as a child. I’ve been meaning to visit the house I grew up in, which is situated beside the park, for a few months now, and Saturday was the day I went for that walk. Wow. The nostalgia was overwhelming. A part of me initially didn’t want to see. I learned to ride my bike in that park and I recall that very day with my Dad and the very path we took. So many wonderful memories of my childhood. It wasn’t just the big things though, it was the insignificant things like the broken bit of path that was at the entrance of the park. I distinctly remember having to put extra pressure on my bike pedals when I was a child, just so I could make it over the raised concrete each time I entered the park. And later, when I’d learned to skate, I’d have to slow down on my roller blades to prevent a fall. That must’ve been well over twenty or so years ago. The path still isn’t fixed.

path

It appeared that the majority of the greenery had been chopped away, which is very sad, and lots of tall, pointy, metal fences are now dividing the park into sections. Most likely a security thing that has gone too far or maybe lack of funding for groundskeeping. I have no idea how all that works. It was nice to visit, regardless. I could still see how the park used to be, and very vividly remember the old, green, wooden see-saw and high slide. It was back when health and safety was all bollocks and the ground wasn’t rubber; it was just gravel and tiny bits of glass. Quite literally. Amazing.

I actually caught a chill during my day out, so I’ve been pretty much bed ridden for two days. I was even mildly delirious on Monday night. I’ve not had those feelings for ages. Tonight I feel a bit better, though I now have a barking cough. I’ve just had a curry and watched an episode of Luther. As I always say, I prefer to watch these series once the general public have stopped banging on about it, so my time to watch this programme is now. It’s not too bad really. I still haven’t got over the whole Dexter thing, so it’s hard for anything to level with it, but I’m still enjoying all these detective/thriller series I haven’t seen yet. They are good to watch when I’m doing my art or journals.

Actually, I had to ask my tutor for another extension on my art coursework. Again. I suspect by this point she probably thinks I have issues going on or I simply can’t be arsed with the course. Quite honestly, I am just so tired. Ugh. I will get through this course and I will gain my degree, but I should maybe start to introduce a quick nap into my schedule. Really. I’ve never been one for getting a bit of daytime shut-eye – like, what if I miss something, right? This sort of stuff contributes to the bags under my eyes. I mean, the cause is mostly down to genetics but I really do need a massive nap. This is maybe something else I’m writing about that I will never actually make happen, but right now, I mean it. Anyway, I will eventually share some actual art at some point this year. I have a lot going on. It’s all good, but it’s also time consuming.

About three months since my last post. Classic.

Advertisements

Fresh, Fresh, Fresh

To the point? I had to start my art degree from the beginning. Hence, the gap between this post and the last. In the process I created a new space for my coursework – you can follow my new ‘study blog’ by clicking HERE or the using tab at the top of the page. If there’s any aspect of the restart I like, it’s probably the fact I’ve actually started a fresh learning log. I occasionally used to enjoy rambling on this side of the web and had to give brief intermission when this blog turned into a kind of coursework project. I can now return to my own art and natters once again.

I’m up late this evening. My sleep is a bit buggered after I gave work a miss today following the result of night-time nausea from 3:56am which proceeded to blanket me for most of the day.  I ended up sleeping on the couch some time in the early afternoon and awaking to an episode of Columbo. At least I feel a bit better now. I think I’m going to take a nap for a further four hours and then attempt to carry on with some productive stuff. My sleep pattern should be appropriately aligned by then and I’ll be able to post some art-related updates.

Until 4:30am it is…

Stood in an Empty Room, Looking Awkward

It’s time for a fresh blog, again. I find myself writing about things that I think should be in an art blog, rather than things that are actually important and relevant to my art path. I need to declutter the creative part of my brain in order to make room for more innovative junk -it’s getting pretty crammed in there, so I’m gonna dump it all here.

For a change, there is no aim to this blog, other than to keep it honest and very “Zara”. No doubt this blog will act as some kind personal journal at some point, I tend to get too relaxed after a few entries and before I know it I’m spewing all kinds of drama. It’s occured to me that maybe I want to spew. After all, this blog is public which tells me that there is a chance of somebody reading it, somewhere. I’ll try to keep it art-focused (as that is the intention) but there’ll be no promises as such. As some kind of pre-warning, it’s probably worth mentioning that I’m not the most positive of people and pretty much live my life based on but-what-ifs and worst-case-scenarios. It’s the only way I can function without juggling too much anxiety at once. There are also no promises of weekly posts or regular updates because sometimes I just don’t feel like doing reports; I have no energy. I often undersleep as well, and during those times I’m pretty much the worst person I know -I’m very grumpy and very sad. Most days my eyes are in a constant state of tiredness and I don’t want to do anything -even make time for art. Anyway, nobody likes sleep deprivation -do they? Although I quite like it if it means I get cool dreams and feel a bit out of sync for a bit. I might get short bursts of creativity if my brain is being a bit weird, and that feels quite good. I’ve probably mentioned this on other blogs before… I do have a tendancy to repeat myself -another pre-warning.

I’m hoping this blog doesn’t end up like one of the many unfinished sketchbooks on my art shelf. The books usually begin really neat… drawings I’m more that happy with for the first few pages, followed by a few rubbish ones, then one that went really wrong, a few doodles and notes (because at this point I’ve given up on the sketchbook being a sketchbook -it’s now on the level of “jotter”) ending with blank pages that will never be filled. At this point, I’ll buy a new one. I must quit this dreadful habit of, not only paper wasting, but giving up on my work that may, in future, be useful for ideas and learning curves. My art teacher at school always said ‘you must never throw art away and/or forget about it. If it’s something you dislike you can always work on it at a later date and make it better’ Not sure whether it’s a good idea these days…I’m already an avid hoarder. The idea of recycling appeals to me though, maybe I could chop it all up and keep the best bits…Hmm. Right, I’m going off on a tangent. Besides, you can’t really chop up blogs up anyway. Not really. Okay…special efforts to make sure blog stays alive and continues moving forwards. Circles might be okay, but not a backward motion of any kind.