…And Now, It’s May!

Three days ago I visited an old park I used to play in as a child. I’ve been meaning to visit the house I grew up in, which is situated beside the park, for a few months now, and Saturday was the day I went for that walk. Wow. The nostalgia was overwhelming. A part of me initially didn’t want to see. I learned to ride my bike in that park and I recall that very day with my Dad and the very path we took. So many wonderful memories of my childhood. It wasn’t just the big things though, it was the insignificant things like the broken bit of path that was at the entrance of the park. I distinctly remember having to put extra pressure on my bike pedals when I was a child, just so I could make it over the raised concrete each time I entered the park. And later, when I’d learned to skate, I’d have to slow down on my roller blades to prevent a fall. That must’ve been well over twenty or so years ago. The path still isn’t fixed.

It appeared that the majority of the greenery had been chopped away, which is very sad, and lots of tall, pointy, metal fences are now dividing the park into sections. Most likely a security thing that has gone too far or maybe lack of funding for groundskeeping. I have no idea how all that works. It was nice to visit, regardless. I could still see how the park used to be, and very vividly remember the old, green, wooden see-saw and high slide. It was back when health and safety was all bollocks and the ground wasn’t rubber; it was just gravel and tiny bits of glass. Quite literally. Amazing.

I actually caught a chill during my day out, so I’ve been pretty much bed ridden for two days. I was even mildly delirious on Monday night. I’ve not had those feelings for ages. Tonight I feel a bit better, though I now have a barking cough. I’ve just had a curry and watched an episode of Luther. As I always say, I prefer to watch these series once the general public have stopped banging on about it, so my time to watch this programme is now. It’s not too bad really. I still haven’t got over the whole Dexter thing, so it’s hard for anything to level with it, but I’m still enjoying all these detective/thriller series I haven’t seen yet. They are good to watch when I’m doing my art or journals.

Actually, I had to ask my tutor for another extension on my art coursework. Again. I suspect by this point she probably thinks I have issues going on or I simply can’t be arsed with the course. Quite honestly, I am just so tired. Ugh. I will get through this course and I will gain my degree, but I should maybe start to introduce a quick nap into my schedule. Really. I’ve never been one for getting a bit of daytime shut-eye – like, what if I miss something, right? This sort of stuff contributes to the bags under my eyes. I mean, the cause is mostly down to genetics but I really do need a massive nap. This is maybe something else I’m writing about that I will never actually make happen, but right now, I mean it. Anyway, I will eventually share some actual art at some point this year. I have a lot going on. It’s all good, but it’s also time consuming.

About three months since my last post. Classic.

It’s February…

I’m feeling happy today. I like the first days of the month. Any month. The whole fresh start thing… blah blah blah. February is especially grand because it kind of marks the end of the previous year. Officially. Christmas grumbles are still floating in the air during January and I find it all a bit negative.

I last made a post here during July 2017. Wow. I know I’ve been a bit lazy, but jeez. I’m always so disappointed in myself when I leave these things too long. More so because I’ve managed to still make time for a bit of other social media nonsense. Namely Facebook. Although that is becoming somewhat of a tumbleweed for me -I’m making updates less and less. Not that it bothers me. Besides, the Instagram community works better for my creative output. Junk journals, bullet journals, writing journals, stationary… all catching my eye this year and lots of those things are being shared around my Instagram account. I particularly got into mail art and have enjoyed sending happy mail for a short-while now. I really hope all that snail mail continues.

So, a new month. I already planned my February spread in the BuJo. It’s basically an offspring to my diary. I think it’s always good to have visuals.

In other news, September will hopefully mark the end of the beginning for my art degree and I’m looking forward to moving on to the next course, of which there are many options. Although, Visual Studies is a compulsory area that I’ll need to focus on at some point, so I’m thinking it might be best to get it out of the way, especially as there seems to be a lot less, if absolutely zero, practical work to be done. Then I’ll most likely choose a painting course or maybe even sculpture. Maybe. I’ll keep myself posted about that. In the meantime, I’ll be hacking away at the sketches and paintings for Assignment 3 -due in March, so I’ll end this here. That’s it for now. As usual, I’ll promise to try and keep the momentum going with the blog.

MARCH/APRIL REVIEW

March was a productive month for doodles. I got into the habit of carrying my sketchbook everywhere and it resulted in lots of page-filling. The extra day I gained after dropping my work hours has proven to have a positive outcome as well, so that was a good move. As much as I love taking the bus to work, it’s nice to have less travel time and more hours to do creative stuff.

The idea for the diary didn’t workout, though. Whenever I seemed to search for a day to look back on there was a missing entry. Turns out, that in almost every journal, March has always been the month with the least entries. It was really odd. The only conclusion I came to was that the month of March might be a bit of ‘come down’ month. January is most likely going to be filled with “hope” for the year, Februrary might still be quite exciting and you may have even added some new goals to the year, but by March a few things may have not gone to plan already and you might have started to give up on ideas or letting those New Years Resolutions slip. On the other hand, it could also mean that your life has been so exciting that you’ve simply not had the time to follow through a page-a-day of writing. Unfortunately, it’s probably more the former rather the latter.

These patterns below happened by accident. They originally began as biro-doodles, and whilst it’s how they appear to remain, it took a while to line the shaded areas and they are no longer just silly drawings to me. In fact, I actually like them very much. I was getting lazy with my sketch booklast year, so to see a completed page makes me feel quite prolific. That’s good. I think I like fig. 1 best. It reminds me of something sciencey; like little molecules of blood flowing through my veins or something like that. I might attempt more of these patterns in colour.

Fig. 2

 

Fig. 2

 

April is almost at an end and things seem to be panning out okay. I’ve got a few work-related plans that should change my life for the better if it all works out and I’ve got some good ideas for producing some work of exhibition standard. I need to think about getting an art CV together which is going to prove difficult seeing as I’ve not gained any academic qualifications in that field, nor have I ever had anything exhibited. I think if I put my mind to it then something positive will come out of all this nonsense.

Anyway, I’ve since created a new art page, which is bascially a mini side project for fun. It’s a space to share my limericks and loony characters… it’s a bit silly really. You can check that page out HERE.  I’m not even sure what makes a limerick great, and mine are quite childish to be honest, but I like creating the troupe, some of which are loosely based on people I know or have met at some point in my life.

Now I’m super-excited about May and I’ll be posting more artwork soon…

 

 

Don’t Remain Static

I transfered my blog from Blogspot to WordPress and now I’ve lost my stats. It’s not really important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s always nice to be reminded that somebody might be interested in your art and/or writing. And if that somebody is replaced with ‘lots of people’ then it’s even better. So now my figures are only in the hundreds instead of the thousands, but I think I’ll eventually get over it.

As the month of Februrary comes to an end, I am slowly evaluating the past 3 weeks and have come to the conclusion that it’s been time well spent. Not just in terms of creativity, but on a social and emotional level, too. March is the first month I shall officially be working four days a week, instead of five. That means I technically work part-time now, so that’s good. Not much thought has gone into how I will survive financially, but the extra day off will keep me happy and constructive. I’ve already began taking my sketchbook everywhere I go and when there’s nothing to do, there’s always something to draw.

At the start of 2016, I decided to take a different approach to my usual way of thinking in an attempt to get more things done and remain worry-free. I’m justifying anything that I might usually consider to be a risk, as being totally okay. These kind of things shall now be learning curves and experiences. I’m planning to hit this huge reset button, which is like some kind of big, red, chunky, shiny cylinder that I’ll punch when I turn thirty, so there’s not much to fret about until then because time starts again in Zara’s world.  I’m finding it easier to accept my decisons about most things and, as a result, my mind has been a lot more open and I’ve felt very happy about all the aspects of my life. Maybe when I’m thirty, I’ll create a new reset button for when I’m thirty-one, and then another for when I’m thirty-two…and so on.

I’m actually not overly well today. Flu-type symptoms or something. I didn’t sleep much last night either, and as a result I had incredibly bizzare dreams. They were senseless and repetitive. The kind that can be quite disorientating, but at the same time oddly pleasurable and fascinating. One of the dreams included the loss of my teeth. In the dream I had collided with somebody and cracked my left front tooth. I peered into a mirror and noticed a huge chip and within a few minutes the right tooth had fallen out and my other teeth started to quickly decay. I woke up in mid-panic and frantically began to feel my gnashers. When I was teenager, I’d often dream about losing my teeth. I’d either lose them, they’d rot, they’d bleed or turn to mush. I’m not sure why my recent toothy dreams have returned. Odontophilia probably plays its part and maybe the partial guilt I hoard for not wearing the mouth guard that my dentist strongly suggests I wear on a nightly basis.

Anyway,  I have this idea of how to structure this new blog. I firstly need to choose a past year -I’ll probably go for 2003, as it was the year I turned seventeen and most likely about the time I was naive enough to think I knew where I was definitely going to be ten years from then – Anyway, the plan is to dig out my 2003 diary and see what I was thinking about thirteen years ago from today, tomorrow, the day after, etc. I’ll then do some kind of comparison thing, but through art or something. It’s not quite all come together yet, so I’ll have to see. It’s possible to forget how much you have actually achieved. Whilst sometimes you might feel a bit static, you might in fact be at your most productive point. It is similar to that of when you look back and reminisce of good times that may very well have seemed quite dull at the time of happening. I don’t want feel static anymore. I want to feel productive. I’d like to move forward and do cool stuff. I want to work for something I love and I want .

There is a common expression… ‘It is sooner than you think’

I must not remain static.